seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
