he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
