morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
