I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
