I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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