my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
