Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Randomize
