Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
