You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
