There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
