you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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