i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
