A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
