Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
