I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
