he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
