I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
