Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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