my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
