Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Nicole vs. Life
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
