What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
