I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
