i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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