Where is the hickey?
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Randomize
