I think I died a long time ago.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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