You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
