There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
