What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Its about making memories worth repressing
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
