uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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