That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
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