even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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