:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
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