guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
