you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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