Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
