If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
