Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
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