i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
