I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
