ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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