dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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