uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
