porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
