PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
