You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
