i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
i black out too much to be "responsible"
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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