Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
