so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
