Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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