Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Randomize
