Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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