But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
