Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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