her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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