Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Randomize