we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
