I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
